Yep, you heard me right, it’s time to get uncomfortable with yourself! Why? Because when most of us try to tell ourselves what is good about ourselves, we just get downright uncomfortable. Believe it or not, most of us find it easier and more comfortable to beat ourselves up instead.

One of the fastest ways to shift out of beat up mode is to replace the negative tape that is playing in our head with one that is more empowering.

A way to do that is to instead regularly list your good qualities, the things you could be proud of, even if it’s things you wouldn’t normally say to yourself and certainly wouldn’t say them out loud. It seems so simple, but how often do you say something nice about yourself? I usually tell my clients to list 20 of these qualities. How many can you come up with about yourself off the top of your head? It isn’t so easy, is it? In fact, it’s probably downright uncomfortable, right? But there are probably some that come to mind: loving, reliable, smart, dependable, creative, sense of humor. Now try digging in deeper and finding what other ones you can find…maybe generous, kind, caring, magnetic, inspirational, powerful?  

I can’t emphasize enough how important this is for all of us. Maybe the first ten qualities will be easy to come up with, maybe only the first five, or maybe you can get all the way up to 16 with no problems. But once you come up with them, they’ll be an important tool to help improve your self image and create those “feel good” feelings. Maybe you’re struggling with keeping to your diet, maybe with stress at work, maybe you’ll just be having a long, exhausting day. Then, your tendency will be to beat yourself up, get stuck in negative thoughts, decide not to workout, decide to cheat a little on your diet, or yell at your kids just because they were annoying you.

Now think of the potential all those wonderful qualities have! They can remind you of all the things you are and can be in that moment, instead of just tired, angry, hungry, cranky, stressed. They will be your arsenal when you need it, and when you repeat them to yourself on a regular basis, the feeling becomes more of a norm for you and creates a more solid, happier foundation.

I created this process a while back when I was having trouble sleeping. When I have too many thoughts, ideas and to-do’s in my head, running through my list of qualities calms my brain down. It’s reassuring and relaxing and helps me get back to sleep. Trust me, listing your potential qualities at first might be uncomfortable, but isn’t learning, growing, healing and evolving all about getting uncomfortable?! You’re getting uncomfortable so you can change those comfortable habits that aren’t serving you, and that are downright hurting you, into ones that elevate you.

Just as important as making a list is going back and reviewing those qualities again and again. I find it’s a great thing to do just before falling asleep and as soon as you wake up, maybe even as part of your meditation routine. As you regularly repeat this to yourself, you may notice that something will start to shift within you.  It’s super important that each one of those qualities feels really easy for you to say. You need to be able to know those qualities and grab them willingly and proudly next time your instinct is to beat yourself up. So for example, you can start to catch yourself every time you say, “I’m so disorganized” and immediately replace it with “I’m very creative” or “I’m very generous”.  If you keep doing this again and again, you’ll notice that in time, you’ll stop saying “I’m so disorganized” and you’ll start feeling confident in your creativity. Eventually, you’ll be able to get rid of all that damaging language. And soon, that uncomfortable feeling will become the new more comfortable you.

Think it over and discover for yourself what good qualities you have. You will more than likely even surprise yourself with a few of them. So what are your 20 qualities?